One day, God farted. And celebrities were

One day, God farted. And celebrities were born.

It could have just stopped there but then God burped, and we can all imagine what appears when God burps. If celebrities come out of His farts then

daytime talk show hosts and local news personalities were the product of His burps. Once, God sneezed, and Jimi Hendrix was born. Another time during a bout of hiccups a small town

of Hicks appeared which God named Cupertino. God was kind of embarrassed about the whole thing so he raised the standard of education there. Then God choked on an Apple &

Peach Cobbler because he didn't wait until it cooled down. That was God's major issue, he never waited to let things cool down before eating them. Once, God had gotten a slice

Paddington Station at rush hour. Always a bad move. Even someone as virtuous as the faithful had unworthy thoughts. Devilish thoughts. He stuck his foot out and a party of Italian

tattoo artists tattooed a map of Italy onto his outer arch. "If you so much as devilishly think about removing it, we'll cleave your foot clean off." A graffiti artist tagged him

& shoved him back into the morgue cooler. It is a little known fact that coroners have tattoo & graffiti artists come in to "brand" the corpses, just in case another zombie apocoly

pse starts up. That way they can keep track of which ones are zombies, & which shelf to shove them back into when the headshots take care of them. Just another helpful tip!