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One day, God farted. And celebrities were

  • One day, God farted. And celebrities were born.

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  • It could have just stopped there but then God burped, and we can all imagine what appears when God burps. If celebrities come out of His farts then

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  • daytime talk show hosts and local news personalities were the product of His burps. Once, God sneezed, and Jimi Hendrix was born. Another time during a bout of hiccups a small town

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  • of Hicks appeared which God named Cupertino. God was kind of embarrassed about the whole thing so he raised the standard of education there. Then God choked on an Apple &

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  • Peach Cobbler because he didn't wait until it cooled down. That was God's major issue, he never waited to let things cool down before eating them. Once, God had gotten a slice

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  • Of anything he needed it, he wanted it. it was a sickness given to him by the devil, and one man, known as the faithful, was out there trying to find a cure. He traveled to

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  • Paddington Station at rush hour. Always a bad move. Even someone as virtuous as the faithful had unworthy thoughts. Devilish thoughts. He stuck his foot out and a party of Italian

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  • tattoo artists tattooed a map of Italy onto his outer arch. "If you so much as devilishly think about removing it, we'll cleave your foot clean off." A graffiti artist tagged him

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  • & shoved him back into the morgue cooler. It is a little known fact that coroners have tattoo & graffiti artists come in to "brand" the corpses, just in case another zombie apocoly

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  • pse starts up. That way they can keep track of which ones are zombies, & which shelf to shove them back into when the headshots take care of them. Just another helpful tip!

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