It was just one of those days. The portable

It was just one of those days. The portable death ray couldn't be propped up on the balcony because SOMONE forgot to bring a three-prong extension chord. Good minions are hard to

find these days. especially non-union minions. I really should have supplemented the income I was getting from my kidnapping and war profiteering industries before I put this plan

in motion. The last cadre of minions had unionized and gone on strike. The minions before those turned out to be Menninites and thus didn't really work out as planned. An onion all

day keeps the doctor away, they say. Obviously not this doctor, of course. Who could keep him from sodomizing all the different women of Species 14? Good doctor, though. Never

paid volunteers anything. This Doctor was a clever fool, who liked Species 14 women who were boring like the living dead. He invited them for a jumbo shrimp coctail and

then drove them to his underwater castle, where he could put his women on the "operating table" like never before. Without fail, it made them happier then ever before. The secret

was the morphine on the tips of Neptune's "trident". The camera crew for Nat Geo: Cribs busted into Neptune's sandcastle just as he was administering another dose. "This lady here

was already queuing at the benefits office. As a single mother with Neptune's baby she'd be entitled to a council flat and regular benefits payments. The windfall was exactly

what Amphitrite needed. Little Triton cost her a fortune in mackerel and The Dread Lord of the Various Oceans isn't the easiest ex in the world. And Atlantis is a peaceful place.