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In the undergrowth of New Zealand's forests

  • In the undergrowth of New Zealand's forests the flightless Kiwi hid from feral cats. It seemed doomed to extinction until New Zealand outlawed all cats. Cat owners were required to

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  • ship their cats to Kazakhstan, which had a chronic shortage of cats and was being overrun by sparrows, field mice and chipmunks. Within weeks the kiwi population exploded: soon

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  • everyone was making kiwi jam and jellies. It got a point where everyone's tongue was raw from eating so many kiwis. That's when a certain lucky mouth doctor showed up with a

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  • mouth organ, playin' the Kiwi Jelly Blues...oh yeah! Oral was his name. Dr. Oral Hurt, D.D.S. When he wasn't yankin' out wisdom teeth, he was jammin' out with his band "Oral Hurt &

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  • The Gas." Everyone always had the best time at their shows. Some suspected that the good Dr. Oral Hurt leaked nitrous oxide into the audience but it was never proven. I nearly shit

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  • su massaged the person in front of me, such was the love & bonhomie in the air. Dr Oral Hurt, eyes blazing, strode around the stage telling us to: "Subsume, subsume my friends, sub

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  • sume and you will be saved." I was a dadaist agent infiltrating Dr.Oral Hurt's seminar. We wanted the fragmentary. Nonsensical juxtaposition. I launched into a Platypus Filibuster

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  • slogan and blew out thru my nose/bill, resulting in what I hoped what a platypus call. It sounded more duck-like than intended, however and a large flock of mallards approached.

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  • Within the flock was a lone platypus, Lord Almighty bless its over-taxed heart, flapping for all it was worth with the meager supply of shit-stuck duck feathers lining its arms.

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  • Then, He created Slovakia, that was later destroyed by Mankind in 5345 a.D., at the 57th Slovakian & Laos Vs Mankind War.

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2 Comments

  1. lucielucie Jan 02 2015 @ 07:04

    I like Dr Oral Hurt...

  2. zxvasdf Jan 02 2015 @ 09:23

    I cracked up at kiwi jelly... and yes, Dr Oral Hurt needs to be folded yet more times!

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