With a Fluff-a-Nutter sandwich in hand I

With a Fluff-a-Nutter sandwich in hand I decided it was time to

make like a tree and skidaddle. She didn't seem to mind, though, I was prone to doing that at odd times. I knew it was time to run, as she had seen my

Aunt Betty's lingerie sticking out of my trousers. But I was stopped dead in my tracks when I turned to flee and ran head on into the side of a big black limousine. The door opened

and out stepped Dick Cheney. He had just been to Bethesda for an artificial heart upgrade, and he said to me, pointedly, "how's your Aunt Betty, anyhow? She's a helluva dame."

I replied to Dick, "She's fine, except for the fact that she lost her arm in an unfortunate bull fighting accident." "Oh that is terrible!" Dick cried. "I hope that

she'll be able to buy a new one made out of cheese from the French cheese vendor down the road. He does wonders with a bleu." " I hate

Yet, I get a feeling of patriotism when I think of it. American does make a fine grilled cheese sandwich. So good in fact that I once ate only grilled cheese for two whole weeks.

The tomato sauce ran out in the middle of week two so I poured ketchup in water with some basil and microwaved the hell out of it. When that ran out, I dipped the cheesy goodness

into some canned tuna. I always had some of that buried in the pantry. By the time week three rolled around, though, I was in deep shit.