Finished Folds (1—20)
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1her with a sharp stick made out of cheese, which felt better than expected. She didn't know whether to cry out in shock or to moan in pleasure. In the end, she chose to
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3one used by Genghis Khan on his death bed to kill his brother, and then eat his remains. It sounds gruesome, but for the average Mongol it was nothing compared to
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4ice cream sundae, though I'll have to admit there is always a little saliva on the cherry at the end. The men have no trouble with this addition, but most of my friends feel
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1the side when suddenly the entire room burst into flame and we all did a dance around the bonfire to celebrate the birth of a whole new way of life.
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2I thought these neurosis were only temporary at first, but when I woke up to nightmares of light purple and Sketcher's sneakers I knew I had a serious problem. The only way to help
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3I couldn't believe I was sitting in a lecture with the advertisement guy from P&G. It was my life-long dream to meet the man who made millions for the biggest company in the
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2I only wanted to eat my breakfast in peace. I love gyrating as much as the next man but there comes a time in a person's life where they have to give up the night life in favor of
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4effects of my farting just about then. I wasn't expecting an attack of flatulence, however I had eaten beans within the last 24 hours and I find that I simply can't escape the
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3the memory of my boyhood was just returning to me after the stroke. I thought I had lost everything, but something of a spark remained - just getting swirlies in elementary, but
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3with a glint in his eyes that were made of solid gold. People took one look at that plastered face and decide "This kid's got money. And I'm hungry." So they pop his eyes and
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3that her chicken soup was the best in the world. "Come on, Ma, you can't scare me. Not with a muffler like that still on. Come on, it's 65 degrees in here!" But Grandma
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2It's a decision I came to while sitting on the toilet this morning and reading a catalog from the weather channel. I was supposed to buy rain coat or something but then this idea
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5screamed insults as I sprinted past, telling me I was no runner and should go back to Kenya for more training. I stuck my tongue out at the mahogany and shouted
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3The best salad tongs are the ones we didn't think we'd be using, but with chances like these, I didn't want to pass up the opportunity to get a leg up on the competition. However
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2didn't want to be startled by the ringing of my coffee maker so I sprinted down the hallway and tried my very best to forget everything I had seen.
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0decided that the best thing to do would be to shoot him in the backyard and forget he ever existed.
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3"You were the first girl I ever puked on, but you have to admit that cherry is really not your color." I remembered that I had been wearing
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1There was a trend of going to somewhere we'd never seen before - like Venice or Amsterdam - and painting a parody of a famous painting created by
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3our hearts in little cages like the ones they use to lock up crazy people at the hospital. They hoped that with such strict security they'd be able to
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1a ten dollar cow and get the hell out of there. No need to worry about the mess. I picked up my