"What do you want this time?" asked God.

"What do you want this time?" asked God. The Devil, hat in hand said, "Look, I'm sorry. I apologize for being prideful and I have learned my lesson." God opened his arms and

waved them to appear bigger. God read in a pamphlet that this stance was crucial when dealing with a predator. The Devil sniffed the air... Hot sauce. God had some on his robe from

strolling through the French Quarter in New Orleans, a favorite haunt of both God & the Devil. Sniff, sniff...not just hot sauce, but hurricanes too & oyster po' boys! Satan crept

into my beignets and sweetened their aroma so that it was impossible to resist eating the whole plateful. "Down, Satan!" I yelped, but it was no use. After licking the plate clean

I threw open the freezer. There they were. The Devil's ice cream sandwiches. There were 6 in the box and I told myself I'd eat 1 a day. After polishing off the third one in a row

after some thought I made Ole' Scratch a wager he couldn't refuse. How about I compete in a cookoff in Hell with two souls not yet yours. Whoever cooks you the best meal gets

gets an air-conditioned Airstream in Hell.The 2 loser chefs will be your personal slave & the Grim Reaper.Agreeing, the Devil declared the 1st ingredients: celery, rice cakes, kale

& mayo. I whipped up some celery & kale gyozo on a bed of macerated rice cakes with a mayonnaise foam. The Devil was gobsmacked by my ingenuity & I became Satanic Masterchef 2014

which shook a lot of movers and moved a lot of shakers. "And to think, I had given up on humanity's enlightenment this century. But wait until you see my ingredients!"