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The desert continent became his first conquest,

  • The desert continent became his first conquest, leaving in his wake a sea of glass and smoldering crystalline statues.

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  • And then came Blondie who proclaimed, "Once I had a love and it was a gas, soon turned out, had a heart of glass. Then a camel came bearing a man with a bottle of Windex who

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  • had gone mad in the Sahara desert, searching for windows to clean. Sometimes he would splash some Windex on his handkerchief just so he could smell it, and it would make him

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  • return to his happy, and clean world. One without sand in your shorts--with dirty windows to wash, and door knobs to clean. But the Sahara is unforgiving, and he fell prey to

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  • one of the many mirages he imagined. This particular water hole cafe would not allow you in without a tie on. He donned his sand shoes forgetting that he was back in the city and

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  • sashayed into the cafe and was was bounced right back out of there on his beach towel by a burly guy. Landing on the sidewalk he recognized the guy as his favorite pro wrestler

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  • Marcus "Buff" Bagwell. He loved Bagwell because he was an allstar douche on and off the set, both to his co-workers and to his fans. Getting roughed up by him was a secret fantasy.

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  • and he did everything he could to get noticed by him. He would brush past him several times a day. To make himself more noticeable he would not have bath for a week. This caused

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  • his skin to look a lot more greasy than it usually did, and his hair to drop a lot of dander on his shoulders.

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  • Every time he spoke the letter P, a ginormous wad of nasty saliva skyrocketed across the room. Yup, he was doomed. Muhahaha! My work here is done.

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