If you want happy ever after and kisses on

If you want happy ever after and kisses on lips and flowers and violins then stop reading.This story's not for you.

Nothing about Mary suggested romance. She was big & hairy, never showered or used deodorant, couldn't talk & had a bad case of acne. Yet, the regulars at the truck stop at exit 87

loved her. The truckers would line up for hours on end to get their fortunes ready by her. Mary was a special type of "palm reader". She found this out at a young age when she was

, did her best to tell the truth re: the palm trees to their tenders. Some of them regretted their queries and glared at her. "We are all here to test each other," Mary thought, as

sless chaps would really come in handy now. Mary of course, kept this to herself as she really throttled up her toast, "And here's to the bottom, the hell with the top, if

you're gonna take your shirt off, at least make 'em pop!" Everyone pounded their shots and several folks got naked. "Let's stop the video right here Mary. Now, I can understand

Why you want fifteen minutes of fame, but not like this." Mary looked like she had taken a magic mushroom and was silent as she got dressed and finally got off the horsehair sofa.

Mary jumped on her hairless horse deNudeo and rode like the hot wind of an elephant seal after eating three bean dip. Her future and fame was now in sight. She felt vindicated!

This feeling, sadly, was short lived. Her and her weird naked horse died that day, and some say that even now you can still whiff the three bean dip fart that brought them down.