"But the end of the world... bla bla.. mayans....

  • "But the end of the world... bla bla.. mayans.... bla bla... higher consciousness... bla bla....intergalactic alignment yada yada...." "Uhum, yeah.... pass the potatoes honey"

  • "Are you listrening to me? We are GOING TO DIE!!!" Crap, my wife has been infected by the 2012 paranoia, "relax babe, we got everything we need in the bunker and guns and food and

  • Scrabble. Nothing says "apocalypse" like "mayan" with a triple word score. That's a legal move now, right?" My wife impaled herself with canned beans. The mood in my love bunker

  • lifted when the beans jumped out of the can and arranged themselves themselves neatly on the scrabble board. My wife still impaled by the can snorted and then laughed at the

  • can sticking out her chest like an alien from Alien. "Woah!" my wife said, she was from Venice, California. "But honey, you're dying." She finished her pizza and said, "

  • Are you feeling any better, want a crystal on that?" "Maybe an ambulance, this can in my chest is hurting,' she said. "OK,"my wife said, "but you could use some work on your chi

  • and my 30-day meditation camp will really do wonders for your misaligned chakras". She collapsed to the ground, grasping her chest and choking. My wife continued "Green tea is just

  • over there (gasp!) on that table." I waddled over to get her some green tea, but when I returned, my wife's face was blue. I dropped the tea. Meditation had killed her. Now what? I

  • eyed her checkbook. It was on her yoga mat next to the cedarwood candles and chakra chimes. I gingerly lifted her lifeless hand to free it.

  • I tucked the checkbook in my pocket, blew out the candles, and walked out the door.



  1. 49erFaithful Aug 14 2014 @ 00:02

    I've always mistrusted meditation. Now it's clear why.

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