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"There he is again!" I stopped my DVR and

  • "There he is again!" I stopped my DVR and looked at the paused screen. In the background, stood a man with a rucksack, cane, wire rimmed glasses, stripped shirt, and stocking cap.

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  • I made a call. "Hi, America's Most Wanted? Yes, I have a lead on Waldo. He was an extra on the 'Franklin and Bash' pilot. Do I get a reward?" Suddenly, I heard footsteps outside.

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  • I looked through the keyhole.There was Waldo in his trademark red striped shirt and blue pants. I broke out in a sweat. How'd Waldo find me?Did he tap my phone? He rapped the door

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  • and I tried to hide from him. I found the fetal position to be beneficial in situations like this. Calming. Reassuring. But he was persistent in his rapping. He

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  • then announced to us that he would do a cover of "Informer" by MC Snow, the greatest Canadian rapper of all time, smoke filled the stage as he grabbed the mike,

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  • who didn't like being grabbed that way. Mike felt very violated by MC Snow's fondling molestation. It was not comfortable, and everyone in the audience was watching. This was

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  • his chance, though, to show off his acting talents 'cause You-Know-Who was sitting right there in the front row, watching the whole scene intently. Mike was a method actor, so he

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  • was good at acting grumpy. Mike got up in front of 'you know who' & declaimed: "A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!" A pantomime horse shambled on from stage left. But its ba

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  • lls were left behind. Sadly the crow barked and the llama sang a hymn. The stage cleared for it was Tuesday and Goldilocks porridge had grown cold.

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  • What? You don't believe this story? You don't think it's true? Pssshhhh! Listen, punks, and listen good. Life sure ain't no fairytale. The sooner you understand that, the better.

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