As a keen bird watcher I had studied how

As a keen bird watcher I had studied how birds fly for many hours. One day I decided to run along whilst flapping my arms. To my surprise I lifted off the ground and started to fly

. Zephyrus, the West Wind, had seen how much I wanted to be a bird and had lifted me up in his billowy arms. I stretched out my arms and a gull called out to me as I soared

like a rock and bounced off the pavement, twice, cracking three ribs, rupturing my clavicle, shooting one kidney into a woman's latte and landing in a garbage truck. Luckily

, because I still had my pink rabbit's foot in my pocket, nothing at all happened to either of my elbows. With my elbows, I was able to drag myself up & pull the pin out of the gre

delivering the Green Monster's singing telegram - a shame since the knight had some strong words for him that could only be accurately expressed through song. GM tended my wounds

, and then I demonstrated the Art of the singing telegram. I told them that my teacher had been no other than the Russian ambassador, so I knew a thing or two. GM was awestruck.

Then of course my damn half-brother Dmitri came out of the audience to demonstrate the singing origami technique he had learned on Fujiwara Station. GM dismissed this rebuttal in f

ull, advising us to do the same. Demetri's technique was so bad, that the audience began booing very loudly and throwing fruits at the stage. Demetri began to cry, as he ran off

with only half of his latex body suit still attached. But that still wasn't the last night I tried to operate my community theater strip club.