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An alliteratively-named celebrity was having

  • An alliteratively-named celebrity was having violent sex one day after consuming mass quantities of food and drugs. Many animals

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  • enjoyed. She was. He didn't. Too bad. I'm going. Be good. Not you. Me too. Loving animals. Yes, her. She did. Not softly. That's all. She's celebrity. Rich blood. To

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  • -night is staccato night. At the Olive. Garden. The endless bread. Sticks. Were not enough. So we decided. To sell pasta. Rhythmically. Thursday night is

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  • nospacesnight.Everythingwasputintoabigbowlatthecenterofthetabletobeeatenwithbigwoodenspoons. Olive Garden enjoyed lexicologic themes. Friday night was every vowel missing

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  • night, so they served Lynyrd Skynyrds twyndyllyng pygmy wyrms & myrrh. Next their creative consultant Christian Bök wanted to cook his way through a complete course of hyphenated

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  • meat. Squirrel-meat-kabobs. Salamander-meat-terriaki. Turtle-dove-pop-pie. "Home Cooking" was going to be the best

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  • and the cheapest, ever after the superhighway was built alongside the forest lake next to our house. Martha complained about the flattened shapes, but my salamander pancake recipe

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  • placated her. I'd never shared that recipe with anyone before. It was a family secret. I realized my mistake. Now I would have to marry ol' Martha to keep it in the family. Dammit!

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  • I turned to Martha. "Will you marry me?" I asked, unenthusiastically. "YES!" squealed Martha. Ah, the secret family recipe would be safe. Just to make sure Martha would never blab,

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  • I made her sign a highly detailed nondisclosure agreement that stated she would forfeit the right to all of the millions that recipe would bring in, and lose her half her tongue.

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2 Comments

  1. SlimWhitman May 27 2015 @ 03:50

    Did someone say Squirrel-on-a-stick? http://foldingstory.com/8rll4/yepgwn/

  2. grok May 27 2015 @ 17:42

    Shhh! With prior art, you forfeit the right to all those millions...

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