• floasoldxowode

  • he said to his nurse with his last dying breath. "What did he say?" said his only heir. "floasoldxowode." she sighed. "floasoldxowode?" "floasoldxowode."

  • "What's floasoldxowode?" The heir of the recently deceased asked the attending nurse. "Floasoldxowode would have cured him, he always said. But floasoldxowode is found only in deep

  • wells growing as a slime mould on the backs of albino natterjack toads. Floasoldxowode extracted from the mould is the only know cure for everything from excessive ear wax to ebola

  • . Deafening silence echoed through the lecture hall. Finally, someone coughed. Then someone giggled. "Do you have proof?"

  • The man said, "I have 180 proof." The person who had just giggled just gasped, in pure unqualified anticipation.

  • The gasp, charcoal mellowed, drop by drop, fell through that dimension and into the shot glass of a monster on another planet, who drank the gasp and felt it burn in his throat.

  • The monster was from Planet X and entertained us with tales of drunkenness and cruelty. On this lazy afternoon, we shot the breeze until it poured. The flabbergasted masses of

  • frogs and fishes rained down on us seemed to have awoken an appetite from the Xian monster. A carnal appetite. One that we were completely unable to placate. This angered the monst

  • greatly, but I realized that the Xian Monster was lonely, for who would eat these frogs and fishes with him in his lonely abode? So we decided to create a truce and feasted happily



  1. Woab Jun 02 2017 @ 10:56

    Ah yes, ambika, I remember lazing on that sunny afternoon...

  2. LordVacuity Jun 03 2017 @ 23:04

    Thinking of that smooth gasp makes me want to listen to Four Friends by Ghost Quartet.

  3. LordVacuity Jun 03 2017 @ 23:09

    But can we ever really tell what side a person is on? Will she jump into the abyss to prove the subjunctive? I won't really know until she does it.

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