Solitare game: Contents: Instructions, one

Solitare game: Contents: Instructions, one pawn, one card, one square chess board, one-sided die, pencil, score sheet.

Also on the Solitare game table a 750ml bottle of Jameson (no glass needed), 24x36 picture of ex-girlfriend on easel in front of table, "How Can You Mend A Broken Heart" on replay

. My legs shuffled me over to the Solitare game table. I couldn't resist. There wasn't even a dealer. Finally a game I couldn't lose! I shifted a tile on the ex girlfriend picture

I smiled and thought how can I loose? and flipped the next card over"...what the..." The card had "Looser! written on it! A klaxon alarm went off. Attention the is a looser at soli

difying wards. Ewe must bee on yore guard. Donut listen to thee Overloaders. Save us!" I was fluent in Gibberish, and I quickly deciphered the tarot card message. The

Message actually read as "be on your guard." and something else about Oreos, I wasn't sure.

So in an act of desperation, I climbed up on the guard's shoulders and shouted "Oreos!" at the sky. At first there was only a low buzz, then suddenly the sky was filled with oreo

-American men parachuting down on their creamy filling using their cookies to keep themselves on target. They were the fabled Oreo Soldier's of Custer's Command. They rescued me.

The door seemed to beckon, and before I knew it I was already inside. And there it was, lying on a marble pedestal, a statue of my tormenter made entirely out of frozen blood.