Solitare game: Contents: Instructions, one

Solitare game: Contents: Instructions, one pawn, one card, one square chess board, one-sided die, pencil, score sheet.

Also on the Solitare game table a 750ml bottle of Jameson (no glass needed), 24x36 picture of ex-girlfriend on easel in front of table, "How Can You Mend A Broken Heart" on replay

. My legs shuffled me over to the Solitare game table. I couldn't resist. There wasn't even a dealer. Finally a game I couldn't lose! I shifted a tile on the ex girlfriend picture

difying wards. Ewe must bee on yore guard. Donut listen to thee Overloaders. Save us!" I was fluent in Gibberish, and I quickly deciphered the tarot card message. The

Message actually read as "be on your guard." and something else about Oreos, I wasn't sure.

So in an act of desperation, I climbed up on the guard's shoulders and shouted "Oreos!" at the sky. At first there was only a low buzz, then suddenly the sky was filled with oreo

-American men parachuting down on their creamy filling using their cookies to keep themselves on target. They were the fabled Oreo Soldier's of Custer's Command. They rescued me.

I was not in Kansas anymore. Nor was this Oz. I didnt recognize anything. The Ice House opened up and I hesitated fo enter.

The door seemed to beckon, and before I knew it I was already inside. And there it was, lying on a marble pedestal, a statue of my tormenter made entirely out of frozen blood.