The scientists who brought us Magic Candles

The scientists who brought us Magic Candles had also experimented with self-regenerating Magic Icing. "Never come up short on shortening," they claimed. But disaster struck when

recipe & baking contest.The scientist's wife made a wedding cake with Magic Icing. It swelled up until the decorative Bride & Groom figures were life sized & when they came to life

they had 6 months of a great married life, then went totally Kardashian. The Bride & Groom figures from the cake held press conferences to explain

. "Once we'd divied up the money from HELLO!, our marriage lost its purpose. We drifted apart." Mayhem! The plastic mini-bride was snatched by a handbag Affenpinscher! Reporters sc

rambled their eggs together, their bored eyes half-lidded, waiting for something exciting to happen. Plastic mini-bride snatching by Affenpischers was a mundane crime. We risked

so much for so little, and half the people in our heist had never heard of what we were stealing. And so many people were involved that there was very little profit. Still, our

job needed to be finished. Then, disaster struck. The men in charge of physically stealing the item called us over the radio. "Psst. I can't remember which painting we're meant to

borrow," I absorbed new knowledge: Never EVER hire 2nd graders to steal paintings, "Already?" their end of the radio shouted, "steal the one of the Nigerian Prince, remember now?"

Ah yes, Mr. Kumalo, the Nigerian prince who emailed me requesting help transferring an enormous inheritance to a US bank before it is illegitimately confiscated by his government,