At first, Joe's search implant seemed like

At first, Joe's search implant seemed like a good idea. But it exacerbated his ADD until finally he was scattered to the winds and lost. But like a shaman, he returned from this

journey an older, wiser fellow. Despite his addiction to adderall, Joe also learned how to control the search implant in his head by poking his finger up his nose to reset it.

One day whilst watching a rugby match between American Samoa and Tonga, Joe found his finger got stuck up his nose leaving him unable to perform the Mexican wave

and unintentionally giving the blokes to his left the Irish salute. They got pissed and gave Joe an Australian handshake which required immediate medical attention. Joe's hand

developed a mouth on its palm two weeks later. Coincidence? The palm-mouth was chatty, and continuously berated Joe for his faults. "You're lazy." "Your pits stink." "You spend too

-" but Joe knew how to shut the freakish mouth that had emerged on his palm. Shame. Embarrassment. Guilt. The palm-mouth could no longer speak to Joe.

He looked again, it was demanding he go to the doctor. "Now!", he said. Where was the phone number when he needed it? He had to find his address book. Where was it? Argh!

-When he came to again,his head was hurting like mad.A blood speckled stone lay nearby."Uhh..",he muttered. Where was he?And..who was he?One hand was grasping an address book.

His other held an unmentionable object one can order offline at the following web address: [Redacted] TO BE CONCLUDED. Part II: And then he went to the hospital. The end.