His son came to him with a picture of a family,

His son came to him with a picture of a family, in crayon, holding hands in front of a box house with a smiling yellow sun. His dad hawked a loogey and spat it right on the drawing

"I want your Mother's brests augmented, and I want them augmented now." Crying, little Ricky set to work, wiping away Desi's spittle, and drawing a fuller busom on Lucy.

This made him hungry. So, he turned to his father and asked

if it was OK for vampires to snack on zombies. Embarrassed, his father started hemming and hawing about

banshees and manticores.Why did vampires,warewolves and zombies get all the atention?Who made them kings of all things dark?There's some good monsters being neglected nowadays.He

his budget for gauze was exhausted, so he took to other costumes made of found objects. Although he was still murdering random strangers, it became performance art. When he saw

the nightly news report the sighting of a man wearing a fullbody condom made of run-in pantyhose who was suspected of being involved in what waspreviously thought to be the

biggest Adult Novelty Shop Heist of the century. IT seconded only to the great dildo-napping of 1892. And was far better played. In any case he was obviously the culprit.

and was sent to jail immediately on the knowledge that he sucked