Once upon a time there was a girl named Jo. She

Once upon a time there was a girl named Jo. She liked to teach but she got frustrated with stuff at times. I wish she would be nicer to me. What a mean mean cat!

But even if Jo the cat gets frustrated with teaching until her tail poofs out, she's very patient with me. The other kittens look at me funny & say stuff like, "Jet, you're a DOG."

But Jo the Cat is patient. First Jo teaches me the art of hard to get. "Humans won't respect you unless you make them feel like you are indifferent to them."

So I wore a shirt that read, "You can have me when you pry me from my cold, dead hands." I gave Jo the Cat a dap, unaware of the treacherous world of essence pryers and pliers that

lurked behind the litter box. "Here Kitty, Kitty..." What happened next was surreal. I found myself in a Pea Green boat with Jo and The Owl. Owl held a dagger to my throat and said

"One more step and the pussy gets it." I found this to be disturbingly suggestive for a Fairy Tale, and decided instead to focus my deluded mind on Jesus and other such misleading

fabricated nonsense. It was true he was not the messiah he was just a very naughty boy. I grabbed another book from the shelf and decided to start my own cult based on

...er... Top Household Tips. Commandment 1. Thou shalt never pour tealeaves down the sink for a great blockage shall come unto ye. 2. Thou shalt use vinegar to shift stubborn stain

g. 6. Check & change thy oil. 7. Thou shalt get thy vehicle inspected, lest ye be fined. 8. Check thy tires' pressure & keep them un-holey, according to the Car Maintenance Creed.