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"Umm, uh, well, ah, 12?" "12?! 12?! What

  • "Umm, uh, well, ah, 12?" "12?! 12?! What the hell is the matter with you! 12?! I can't believe this. You must be crazy. I ask you

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  • who said you could grow up that fast? Last year you were 11. What's up with that? So I suppose you want another Birthday party. Fine, I'll get the graham crackers and kool-aid

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  • and we'll shoot rocket launchers at a collection of bouncy castles setup on the football field. Afterwards we'll serve a giant 12 ft high by 16 ft wide strawberry cream birthday ca

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  • -t. ALF listened to Willie's thin-haired cockamamie attempt to butter him up and resisted with no effort. No amount of birthday cats was going to make right what Willie had done.

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  • So ALF decided to run away. He pretended to accept Willie's apology, then snuck out in the dead of night. He was never going back.

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  • Walking stick and suitcase in hand, ALF went it alone in the heavily wooded areas of northern Georgia. I'm not saying he's dumb, but being a brown alien in that part of the world

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  • is hard to outmatch the smarts of trees. But the trees were not there; ALF went to the wrong Georgia. ALF was stuck in a treeless land, called Europe. This made him vulnerable to

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  • Anxiety over a strange language and lack of shade in the heat. He had forgotten his hat! There were no flights to the other Georgia until tomorrow. Where were the taxis? None there

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  • were none,none,no taxis were there... "I started panicking.Did I actually have to use...my legs?I hadn't used them for ages!Oh,cruel world!I started crawling,slowly putting weight

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  • "onto my heels, knowing this was the wrong way to walk. The quadrupeds had it right for ages. Walk digitigrade and there's less damage to your ankles!" So the TV told me...

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