The alcoholic, chain-smoking,

The alcoholic, chain-smoking,

rip-roaring, pistol-packing, rootinest-tootenest, hombre this side of the pecos! The pint-sized cowboy elevated himself by the propulsion of his holstered six-shooters.

right on up into the stratosphere and beyond into the Milky Bar Nebula

which was similar to the Milky Way Galaxy, except with less chocolate and more alcohol. As we blasted through the haze of interstellar acyclic hydroxls, however, the FTL drive

became clogged with xanthan and guar gum in the nondiary spiral arm. There was just enough hydrogenate soybean oil to maneuver the ship into an orbit around a cadbury egg.

A gumball moon orbited the ship. But the moon's and cadbury planet's sugar was sucked out by an open-ended pixy stick (the equivalent of a black hole in the Easterverse). No sugar

because they were fully-loaded, calorically speaking, and the trend was so far skewed toward the non-nutritive food substitutes. The flab-less starving glam stars revolted in 2023

making it cool once again to eat Easy Mac, chili-cheese dogs and Tater Tots. The now chubby glam stars sang songs like "I Want Candy" and "Cheeseburger in Paradise." Everyone got

to their homes that night and realised they shouldn't blindly follow the herd as they had trouble squeezing their overweight bodies through their front doors.