His vision rage red, Max Jones plowed through

His vision rage red, Max Jones plowed through the other shoppers in a berserk frenzy. "MINE!!!" The next moment, he awoke strapped to a table in a secret Army facility. "Congratula

tions, Mr. Jones," a throaty voice floated above him. "Now tell us what you did with Agent Barbie. And don't tell us you don't know what we're talking about!" I must have hesitated

because he slapped me in the face before I could answer. I felt hot tears run over my swollen face. I didn't know what had happened to Agent Barbie and being slapped didn't help

the Hamburger Helper Hand from forgetting how attracted he was to Agent Barbie. She'd dolled herself up pretty good. The Hand palmed the evidence. I gave them a hand for their

first encounter, demonstrating several techniques in the ways of origami. "It's just like love-making," I mused; by the confused looks on their faces, I realized that I had made

a terrible comparison. Origami and love-making? What relation do they both have? Be slow and careful so it comes out perfect, or quick even if it becomes messy? Confusion ensues!

Sexual confusion! I'm beginning to suspect that sex for me is a paper people chain in that I always have orgies with people exactly like me. Or is it a Möbius strip, infinite and

theoretically sound but fraught with controversy and perverted applications in real life. I squirmed in my seat, acutely aware that this might be my last chance to have intercourse

with the famed orator, so I finally spoke up and asked if I could meet privately later on. During and right after, I felt we made a strong connection, but now I'm not so sure.