Many years later, as he faced the firing

Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Maximiliano Buenasnoches was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover

the joy of watching pinko rebels gunned down by firing squad. Col. Buenasnoches thought of the irony as he stared down 9 rebel-issued rifles. "Wait!" he said "I have information on

Gen. Bogusnachos! He is quite rich! There is gold bullion buried beneath his hot tub!" The rebel leader stared at Col. Buenasnoches, then signaled his comrades to lower their

arms & go dig for gold in Gen. Bogusnachos' bathroom. Col. Buenasnoches, thus spared, was free to traverse the mountains on a passing mule. A gypsy in a harsh accent accosted him

with a red felt handkerchief. He was disgusted. He hated gypsy anything. But the Gypsy held up a crystal ball and said, "Col. Buenasnoches you are cursed by the evil turkey god

he was staring at the Turkey God's reflection. Before he had time to react all he heard was "BAAAKAAAWWWWK!!!" A piercing pain. A warm substance streamed down his face.

Was it gravy? He was covered in it. The Turkey God spoke, "ARE YOU THANKFUL? ARE YOU?"

But Turnkey the Turkey wasn't thankful. He ruffled his gravy soaked wings and impertinantly answered the Turkey God, "No, I'm not thankful! And I don't want to be gobbled up by the

masses of ungratefuls who only want to get dinner over & done with so they can start their Christmas shopping! I demand a --" Those were Turnkey' s final words. A bit dry...