He'd wiped his hands on the dish towel after

He'd wiped his hands on the dish towel after he'd put spice rub on the raw chicken. A little chicken skin stayed on the towel. She washed her hands, dried them on the same towel

, then run her fingers through her hair before nipping off to the salon before lunch. The hairdresser saw flesh coming off her scalp, and thought she had some terrible dandruff

Unfortunetly, it was not so. She had a bad case of Margret Thatcher Flesh Creep Disease. A rare and digusting problem that infects then brain, and then the flesh when

Old Maggie had been making the rounds lately, showing up everywhere. Bars, truck stops, shopping markets. Nothing was the same anymore. You couldn't trust your neighbors.

Especially not that Mr. Rogers. Rumor had it he was a gay ex-Marine sniper in the war with ties to the Nazi party. One time he went on TV complaining about a traffic ticket. You

remember the episode? What you didn't see was the outtakes where Mr. Rogers yelled "You can't handle the truth!" and punched the Judge. Mister McFeely had to hold him back.

The Judge cited Mr. Rogers for contempt. He got mad and did his next show about the shortcomings of the US justice system. A youngster named Elena Kagan happened to be watching

& was inspired,writing briefs on King Friday vs. Land of Make Believe or X the Owl vs. Cornflake S. Pecially. When Kagan joined the Supreme Court, she applied the lessons learned

in all these discrimination cases and held in the landmark case of Foldings v. Storee that no one may be denied a job because of their Facebook profile pictures. Justice served!