I am a wretched man, a deplorable man, a
-
I am a wretched man, a deplorable man, a humorous man, a regrettable man. My brain is alive and has a disease. It goes out at night and I follow, in the shadows. The others I avoid
8 -
like a plague. To my knowledge, there is no cure to my wretched disease. I have sought help from witch doctors but to no avail. I slink in the shadows of the night seeking
7 -
, instead, Witch Hazel, for I'd come to the conclusion than no one else this side of Kathmandu could cure me. I feared my disease even more than I feared Witch Hazel, and I dragged
6 -
Babar that irritating elephant king in front of Witch Hazel to see what she would do. To my surprise she made a peanut butter sandwich appear in his trunk. Maybe she could cure me
6 -
From my awful sickness fom listening to Babar rant along te way as he slurped beer and ginger ale, I should just shoot him with this shotgun...
4 -
I aimed at his head. "Mais... sacre blue!" trumpeted Babar and scarpered as shot peppered his backside. Satisfied I sat back and downed a ginger ale. Swaack! An enormous trunk hit
6 -
made kindling of the main mast. A quick look behind me showed Babar in full charge bearing down upon my position. Somehow he had circled back without my noticing. My pantaloons
6 -
whispered to me secrets of magical flight. "Just like the carpet!" They cried. "Jump! Do it!" I jumped overboard, expecting my pantaloons to puff out as a parachute and float me to
7 -
The shore, but they didn't. There was not enough current for that. I swam to the shore, slowly but surely, and a red boat rescued me. I became a regular on that red boat to nowhere
5 -
singing such songs as "Sea Cruise" and "Rock the Boat". The Red Boat's owners loved me, but the audiences hated me and made me walk the plank. They called me a "wet back". Bigots.
6
- Started
- 2013-01-07 20:27:52
- Finished
- 2016-07-28 15:32:30
11 Comments
Want to leave a comment?
Sign up!
LordVacuity Jul 29 2016 @ 00:35
I wish I had known it started off Dostevski-like. I think I could have continued that. Instead I went psuedo-Melville.
Woab Jul 29 2016 @ 17:07
Pseudo-Melville works, too.
BlastedHeath Jul 31 2016 @ 19:22
Don't worry about that -- we all only have the previous fold to work with. But the template that inspired the opening is still there to inspire another ... ;-)
lucielucie Aug 01 2016 @ 05:16
Hang on a minute. Are people round here accusing my fold of being not like Dosteevsky??!?!??
Woab Aug 01 2016 @ 11:12
It was a bit more like Peckinpah, I thought, but still very Russian in a way. The thing that bugs me is these older folders who seem to have different accounts, no faces to the names, and write within seconds of each other. I think they were cheating by sneaking peeks at the stories. When I meet them Ima go all Peckinpah on their behinds.
lucielucie Aug 01 2016 @ 14:01
I actually won the Most Dosteoevsky-like Folder 2014 at a glittering ceremony where everyone contemplated the nothingness of existence and burst into tears.
seinundzeit Aug 01 2016 @ 15:32
Then they obviously did not understand the nothingness of existence for if they did they would have burst out in laughter followed by indignant determination.
Woab Aug 01 2016 @ 16:01
I usually just implode. But eventually I stumble back.
lucielucie Aug 01 2016 @ 17:31
I think it was the complementary potato vodka making them cry.
lucielucie Aug 06 2016 @ 17:02
*complimentary
BlastedHeath Aug 06 2016 @ 17:35
potato vodka completes me, so ... (j/k)