They called him Walker, Connecticut Ranger.

They called him Walker, Connecticut Ranger.

But he really wasn't a Ranger. In fact, Walker was just an average accountant. But that didn't stop him from pulling off the most insane stunts ever seen in the accounting world.

He was world-renowned for being the only one who dared make corrupt bankers seem like nice guys who donated all their money to orphaned newts. For an accountant to take on such a

The amphibian sufferage movement started 1953 when the police raided the "Toad in the Hole" tavern. Frog made a statement, "Voting rights for bi-breathers!"

Unfortunately, he did not realize he was in a proverbial (and, subsequently real) pot of boiling water. The suffrage movement fizzled out after that. The reptiles, though, were

glad it was he in the boiling pot and not them. They watched the man stewing in the pot & agreed that enough was enough.They started the Reptiles for Ethical Treatment of Humans.

Pretty soon most reptilian culinary establishments pledged to follow their ethical cooking principle: brain 'em THEN boil 'em and everyone felt better Humans tasted just as good

as the endangered western swamp tortoise. The western swamp tortoise population started to recover from the brink of extinction and the food chain of the reptilian population

gradually plateau'd. It was never going to be exactly the same, like a pair of patched jeans. But at least those western swamp tortoises can breed in peace and morality holds out.