It isn't every day that I day but almost.

It isn't every day that I day but almost.

I became the person I always dreamed I would be, almost. All the traffic lights were green. I was to work on time. I hadn't punched anyone in the face.

Pretty good for a Monday morning, all due to my talisman, the Platinum Paperclip of Good Fortune! Today I planned to ask for a raise, but when I reached in my pocket to check

for the Platinum Paperclip of Good Fortune it was gone!Retracing my steps I found it wedged under the urinal. Just as I was freeing it using the tines of my comb, my boss walked in

and by chance slammed my chin down until it lodged at the base of the chilly, foul-smelling porcelain urinal. I lost the Platinum Paperclip of Good Fortune, and my boss had to pee.

"This is the second-worst day of my life," I moaned, my voice echoing slightly against the cold, tile walls as above me, my boss relieved himself into the urinal. Just then, I saw

a rolled-up piece of paper fall out of my boss’ underpants as he zipped his fly, turned, and walked out of the john. I grabbed and unrolled the paper to reveal a photo of a naked

pursed my lips, crossed my arms, looked up at the ceiling & sort of lollygagged away from this entire filthy situation. My boss noticed something wrong. "What's wrong? Why are you

looking at the ceiling. Are you rolling your eyes at us? Not much of a team player, are you." Any response I could think of would get me fired anyway, so I quit that damn job.