His name was Phillip D'Abott,and he had already

His name was Phillip D'Abott,and he had already heard all possible jokes on it:

"Hey look, it's 'Fill up da butt.' Tee hee." He went to the courthouse to get a name change. But disaster struck as Phillip stood in line between Ben Dover and

right in the biscuits! Phil McCracken cackled wildy. Ben Dover called for his Russian friend Pikuv Andropov. But the officer Sue PaNazzi pulled up and

put her bazooka to her shoulder. 'Well lady, that's a nifty little canon you got there', Phil told Sue. 'Don't you belittle me, gramps!' she shouted and aimed at his face. 'Now,

Sue,” said Dr. Phil “I respect your right to own a bazooka, please respect my right to not have it pointed at my face, and to give you some folksy advice:don't swim in Lake Jackass

." Sue only paused to give the impression that she had given some present consideration to Dr. Phil's folksy words." She blasted him with her bazooka. "How's that workin' for ya,

?" she snickered. Shouldering her bazooka, Sue looked with contempt into Dr Phil's astonished face. "Thanks for the advice," she whispered, " but I get better from cereal boxes."

"Aa-aa-aand, how...how's tha-aat wo-woorking fo-oor yo-oou?" Dr. Phil gulped, backing away from Sue's big bazooka. Dr. Phil's eyes darted around, searching for escape, but Sue let

out just one salvo and took out the stage room for over half a dozen hyper-judgmental, ignorant, superstitious talk shows at once in a cataclysmic chain reaction of explosions.