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I walked into my flat & heard a commotion

  • I walked into my flat & heard a commotion in my bathroom. It was Nicholas Cage singing 'Call Me Maybe'. I knocked on the door. "Excuse me, Mr Cage, I don't have an emergency on at

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  • all so I guess we can do this!" I embraced Nick Cage, I buried my face into his tan neck. The hair on his arms made me feel safe. He said, "Don't call me by my whole name, darling.

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  • Just call me..." Nicholas cage paused and freed an arm from my hug to put on sunglasses. "Cage baby." YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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  • Then all of a sudden a limousine pulled up. Nicholas Cage broke off the hug, pushed me to the ground, ran up to the limo, and got inside. The limo driver rolled down his window an

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  • inch. It was getting pretty stuffy in there and he has to respect Nicholas Cage's air space. I was sitting there at the movie theatre alone now, and he took my wallet. I had to

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  • sit through it all. I teared up, at then end not because of the sappy ending, but because of the full sensaround smell-a-vision. The scene with bean eating cowboys still lingered

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  • in the air, literally. "Smell-a-vision doesn't actually work, you know." my girlfriend said. I was shocked. Then where did the horrendous smell come from? WHO FARTED?

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  • That was when my girlfriend was inspired to set up the Flatulence Inquisition in order to hunt down any and all farters. I was forced to blame mine on the dog, whom they put down.

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  • "Sorry ol' boy" I whispered in his ear. I let one go right then. Silent. Deadly. The Flatulence Inquisition surrounded me and my dead dog. My girlfriend gasped, "NO!" A blow torch

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  • like flame near my girlfriend and her look of absolute terror is the last thing I remember of her before everything went blank. I later awoke with 3rd degree burns in a hospital.

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1 Comments

  1. lucielucie Jul 31 2015 @ 15:17

    If I had a Nicholas Cage fantasy, this would be it.

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