Some would say she was a cat hoarder. A little

give up their lives on crazy runs to satisfy her own curiosity. She was curious about everything. Who makes those plastic things on bread? Then she sends out a cat for deadly

errands, only for the West Mississippi Plastic Pants Task Force to get her cat out of a tree. Then they warn her that owners should keep cats indoors today due to magnetic trees.

Her cat coughed up a tangle of magnetic field lines which began to suck all the ferrous items in the house towards it; cheap "silverwear", steel toed boots,

pumpkins, and my grandmothers wedding toe ring. "Dag nabbit! Those field lines are interrupting Wheel of Fortune!" Grandma said. Acting as if it were more important than her ring.

You see, despite all that had been happening with Granny lately, the truth was that Pat Sajak was her love child. She'd never told a soul & liked to tune in each night to see him.

The spinning of the wheel brought her back to the night when Pat was conceived - the carnival lights had dazzled her, and young Fred Sajak the Tilt-A-Whirl operator bedded her that

one time on a doormat sliding down the helter shelter. Fred disappeared. 19 year old Pat, the fruit of their union, carried on the tradition by conceiving, with father unknown, on

the Pineapple Express. As the only train which allowed passengers of miscegenated fruit, many delicious bowls were the result innumerable steamy nights in the comfortable and

humid compartments. When they train finally reached its destination, they were all jelly. My head jerked back into reality as the toast popped up. God! I need to get more sleep.