Barefoot, she bravely stepped outside to

Barefoot, she bravely stepped outside to be the first--and probably only--one 2 make footprints, not shoe-prints, in the

Lava flow. She vaporized more or less instantly, but not before Edgar of the Guinness Book snapped a photo of her pained grimace. He then grabbed her purse just as it was

about to fall into the fog. She had made the record before she vaporized. It is funny how easy it is to get into the Guinness Book. Sometimes it is as easy as eating just one

mini-muffin which means that it is not easy at all. The Guinness Book of world records

propped open the bathroom window in an attempt to air that sumbitch out. It was ironic that it was the Guinness Book doing the job because there were several records in jeopardy at

men's lavatory attendant and forced her way to the urinals last year. She didn't win, but she tried really hard, and isn't that what the modern Olympics is all about? I had entered

the lavatory two steps behind her to watch her urinating all over the place. She had worse aim than most drunk men. "DAP DAP," she shouted, but not for lack of trying. Trying and

failing was ok,but not trying at all got his goat. So he tore off the sheet of toilet paper & started again from the top of the role. "Of all the lavatories in all the towns in all

the dive bars where I was drinking too much gin, you never walked in to mine,and even if my tome ends up on the bottom of someone's shoe, it's always better to have loved and lost.