He shielded his face from the stage lights

He shielded his face from the stage lights and peered out into the audience. "Just a chicken, is there chicken?" <cluck.> "Great! now, we haven't met before right?" <cluck>

"Good. Now meet HOT LASER DEATH!" No clucking. He took a bow and walked offstage.

As soon as he did, he was arrested by security and escorted to jail. And THAT was when, when security accosted him, that the audience applauded.

The curtains rose again, and he was in an empty, threatening room. A single bright light shined in his face. "Do you know why you're in jail?" asked a voice from the darkness.

He thought about the question. 'Well, it's very dark here, you're trying to intimidate me by shining a bright light in my face, and I can not see you. Jail would indeed be my first

assumption. Have you boys read 1984? You really have the prison interrogation thing down pat. Could you at least stop with the light in my face?" They didn't say anything

, Anderson Cooper and Bill O'Riley were interrogating Donal Trump. He chortled in their faces and spat out that their questions were pathetic, like limp and wet

hair strands, similar to those on his very own big head. Trump threw lighter fluid on Anderson Cooper and Bill O'Reilly then and set them both on fire. Marshmallow

te smores made me wish to forget this all. So, I chugged an entire Costco-sized bottle of NyQuil, mixed with vodka, and collapsed clutching my lucky voodoo doll.