The cat rubbed up against her calf and Isabella

The cat rubbed up against her calf and Isabella utter a small moan. "WTF, I though, if that cat can illicit that from her what can a real man like me do"? So I slid next to her o

rangutan and began to nitpick her pelt, a surefire overture to more intimate interactions. She reciprocated so I began to fondle her lower folds. When she pulled out the bark dildo

I got the hell out of there. I may be up for a little man/orangutan foreplay but I'm no sicko. Plus I didn't like the way that zookeeper was looking at me. I paid $14 for a 7Up and

and the "remastered" hits of Michael Jackson. I said, "Hee-hee!" and sprinted down the hill. I tripped over McCauley Culkin who was sleeping on a park bench in Neverland and

having used an unusually large quantity of heroin, McCauley barely acknowledged me as I ran past. No matter, I had my own beast to slaughter, so to speak. The ghost of MJ

took a full on face-shot of rock salt from Dean's gun. He ignored McCauley running by, as we all do now that he's a washed-up child star. Sam meanwhile salted and burned MJ's nose.

Then suddenly, Lindsey Lohan drove her car through the nearest wall and revealed a bright, colorful land full of small, horse-like creatures with impossibly huge eyes. They looked

like emaciated colts. Sure enough, Lindsey Lohan had busted her car right on to the set of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. TRHoBH welcomed her to the cast and then promptly

shaved her head. TRHoBH was not a fan of Lindsey's fire crotch. Lindsey was asked to wear a purple merkin but refused and walked off set. TRHoBH tempted her back with a coke

Lindsey turned and walked back, crying silently. But then, she pulled a gun from her fiery crotch and fired it into the air, crying "CROTCH PRIDE!" and bringing the house down.