The auto-correct of my iPad makes me look

The auto-correct of my iPad makes me look like a moron as it auto-incorrects my typing to make it look like I type in tongues.

But then I realized that the auto-correct is God speaking through the Ipod tower of Babyl to me. God corrects my words to make a conversation about conversion, so I made the sign

with my hand. This was the only sign I knew, and as far as I understood it was universal. Surely God smiled on me for this was one thing no one could misspell, except I forgot to

the fire to heat up. My attempts at thought blocking and intentional redirection didn't stop the panic threatening to

devour my own mind. There was nothing I could do to block my own thoughts. I'd come to the place the old man told me about. There was a limit to psi powers. My gun was option two.

That's when Charles Xavier appeared on the scene. Option two was all I had left. Lifting my gun in a well-practiced shooter's stance, I took careful aim...and pulled the trigger.

The prime minister's head exploded like an overripe squash. I dropped the gun, unable to comprehend what I'd just done. "You've just started World War III!" Gen. Trag screamed.

I noticed i revive'd Adolf Hitler. "SHIIT!" I screamed. I didn't know what to do. So i read'd my Calvin and Hobbes comicbook in my basement.

Oh how I enjoyed Calvin and Hobbes, it brings me back to a time in my life that was simpler. And now as Hitler knocks at my door, it is all I have left. He broke in. Oh no! Goodby-