The auto-correct of my iPad makes me look

The auto-correct of my iPad makes me look like a moron as it auto-incorrects my typing to make it look like I type in tongues.

But then I realized that the auto-correct is God speaking through the Ipod tower of Babyl to me. God corrects my words to make a conversation about conversion, so I made the sign

with my hand. This was the only sign I knew, and as far as I understood it was universal. Surely God smiled on me for this was one thing no one could misspell, except I forgot to

account for local tastes. What might have been a friendly greeting to our culture could be a mortal insult to the locals. Still, all I could do was grit my teeth and wait for

the fire to heat up. My attempts at thought blocking and intentional redirection didn't stop the panic threatening to

devour my own mind. There was nothing I could do to block my own thoughts. I'd come to the place the old man told me about. There was a limit to psi powers. My gun was option two.

That's when Charles Xavier appeared on the scene. Option two was all I had left. Lifting my gun in a well-practiced shooter's stance, I took careful aim...and pulled the trigger.

I noticed i revive'd Adolf Hitler. "SHIIT!" I screamed. I didn't know what to do. So i read'd my Calvin and Hobbes comicbook in my basement.

Oh how I enjoyed Calvin and Hobbes, it brings me back to a time in my life that was simpler. And now as Hitler knocks at my door, it is all I have left. He broke in. Oh no! Goodby-