For my first trip back in time with See-the-past
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For my first trip back in time with See-the-past Holidays, I'd be travelling back to 17th Century Scotland. I decided to take a Range Rover, night vision goggles, water purificatio
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n tablets and Immodium. I zapped back 400 years. My car sank in the bog with all my luggage. I was sinking into the peaty Scots bog when hairy arms grabbed and pulled. "Och, now
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you've done it. You're car and luggage just landed on my wife!" Being 400 years in the past, the Burly Scotsman was smelly and hairy. "Sorry." I said, I was Doc Brown, time travele
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r. "Nice to meetcha!" I held out my hand. The Burly Scotsman smacked my hand away. "Mon then, ye jobby, ye Doc Brown. Geez a square go!" he snarled. He wanted to fight me. This tim
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e I assented, but on my terms: a duel. The Burly Scotsman chose the first weapon, the Gurlygog an ancient gaelic flail made of an inflated sheeps intenstine. We faced off
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and at the count of two I smashed my steel toed boot up under the Scotsman's kilt. But he just smiled, looked right at me, and shook his head. The he took his Gurlygog and wrapped
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it around me. The warmth of the alien pet filled me with happiness. It was like the thrill of Ecstacy, only without the terrible side effects. The Gurlygog looked up, telling me
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telepathically to stroke its writhing waves of feathers and fur. My hands slid through the silky, psychedelic strands. The pet Gurlygog gurgled and purred loudly, and then
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the minotaur blinked nonchalantly as it left a pile of scat in the corner. The Gurlygog whimpered, looking up pleadingly hoping for some scratches to its ears. The minotaur died.
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The smell wound its way out of the labyrinth and blanketed Crete in a scat-and-decay omnistench. The Gurlygog's ears went unscratched, but minotaur bones are fun to chew.
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- Started
- 2013-02-27 23:34:48
- Finished
- 2014-05-19 17:25:20
7 Comments
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buddyboy4711 May 19 2014 @ 17:29
Now that I know a Gurlygog is a flail and not a dog/alien thing, I have officially learned something new today and can power down until tomorrow.
lucielucie May 20 2014 @ 08:52
I now I'm being pedantic, but the correct spelling of gurlygog is Chuisteachadh in Scottish Gaeliic.
Krammy May 25 2014 @ 17:50
I looked up Gurlygog on google and came up with nothing, so I assumed it was some sort of alien. ._.
SlimWhitman May 25 2014 @ 18:33
Both Gurlygog and Chuisteachadh turn up only this page so I think the gurlygog was officially invented here. Shall we market it? Perhaps we can team up with a burly Scottish farmer to provide the sheeps intestines?
buddyboy4711 May 25 2014 @ 19:07
All-natural Scottish intestines separate us from the store brand Gurlygogs, so team up we shall. And if we have 4 dentists who will recommend Gurlygogs and a 5th who won't, then we have an ad campaign. The downside is that I must now learn 2 things today because my learning on the 19th was a lie ;)
lucielucie May 26 2014 @ 03:05
Krammy - the best thing to do on this site is Trust No-One. They're a bunch of fantasists who make stuff up all the time in my experience.
SlimWhitman May 26 2014 @ 09:13
The trick is to unlearn things before learning new ones. That way the head doesn't get overly full of gurlygogs and such.