"Yo dawg, what's crackin'?" Asked Brother

"Yo dawg, what's crackin'?" Asked Brother Joe to Father Ted. "I was just admiring the great work of Our Lord, brother, isn't it great and miraculous? Isn't it proof that He loves

corporate corruption?" Father Ted nodded in agreement and handed Brother Joe a spliff. The wealthy elite 1%ers were enjoying the yatch race

two of the most trustworthy people i know, probably because they're Christians, gave me the key to power up the engine. Needles to say, I have no idea how to drive a boat, so.....

I bowed my head like my Christian friends told me to & prayed for divine intervention as the boat gathered speed & headed to the open sea. Wherever I ended up would be the place I

would settle down forever. I was always an outcast, searching for a home. My friends and family had rejected me. The sea--the wide, open sea--was my only friend. I was quite lonely

And had no way home. I stayed aboard the ship and let the captain steer it wherever it wanted to go. I at least was considered a comrade and part of the staff. How cool was that !?

But one day the ship's Master at Arms and I got into a disagreement and I stuck him for his persiflage towards me. Beyond winning his enmity I overstayed my welcome with the crew.

They made me walk the plank, but I bear no ill will toward them. I speak fluent octopus and convinced a passing kraken named Anne to eat them all and carry me safely to shore.

There I made friends with the local cannibal tribe and for dinner to celebrate my miraculous survival we ate "Bob".