"Bah humbug." Scrooge said. Thanksgiving

"Bah humbug." Scrooge said. Thanksgiving was a sham. He threw turkey at townspeople and went home smiling. That evening, he was visited by three birdbrained ghosts. Chains rattled

in his pantry. a wailing gobble was heard in the hall, a peck-pecking at his bedchamber & a great turkey carcass waddled in. "What are you?" cried Scrooge? "The Ghost of Thanksgiv

ing Past here to teach you how to be grateful before it's too late" said the turkey carcass.Scrooge scoffed, "If you were at Thanksgiving dinner with *my* relatives, you'd know why

I'm ungrateful." Scrooge leaned in close. "You know, my relatives stuff birds like you." The Turkey Carcass of Thanksgiving Past trembled, dripping juices. "Those BASTARDS! Let's

see how they like meeting up with one of my cousins, Mighty Cthurkey!" The Turkey Carcass of Thanksgiving Past held Scrooge's head and forced him to watch as Cthurkey's tentacles

get deep fried in the turkey fryer. Scrooge yelled, "Nooooo!" The Turkey Carcass of Thanksgiving Past then pointed with it's neck at a gravestone that said, "

R.I.P. SCROOGE, DIED 2014 of Salmonella". "No! No! No!" Scrooge kept screaming at the Turkey Carcass of Thanksgiving Past. "I'll...I'll become a vegan! I'll...I'll donate all of my

wealth to PETA!" Scrooge stood up in bed. The Butterball apparition had evaporated. He flew open the windows. "What day is it boy?" "Why, it's Thanksgiving!" "You know of the goose

the tomatoes' little faces at the multiple fashion faux pas. But tomatoes are made of sturdy stuff & huddled together in a saucy group therapy session & got over it, basically.