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Love is the purest thing in the world but

  • Love is the purest thing in the world but

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  • it can't get Randy Newman a hit song because

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  • Randy just can't carry a tune to save his ass. WE decided to try Lip-Syncing but it was no use Randy Lips refused to sync with the recording. As a last ditch effort we

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  • tripped off our snowsuits, toques and galoshes and sat down to a beautiful breakfast of milk in a bag, pecan waffles and back-bacon baked in maple syrup.

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  • Then we warmed our hands by roaring fire place made of river stones. After breakfast, we settled into games of pinochle and boggle. Someone piped up, "Shouldn't we be searching?"

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  • The leader shrugged and responded, "Those bodies will turn up eventually," and continued playing boggle. "Okay, how many words did you get?"

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  • "Four," minion number 9 responded, sadly. Now, he wouldn't be getting that promotion. Only four? The Leader would be disappointed for sure. If only he could redeem himself with

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  • a ten foot giant in a bear suit. That would surely make the bossman happy! He wondered where to find this character. He decided to try Taco Belch first. He loved Taco Belch because

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  • ... Bob Barker paused for dramatic effect. "Cassidy, what'll it be?" He wrapped his arm around her hip. "The ten foot giant in a bear suit or your very own Taco Belch fast food cha

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  • stity belt." "I'll take the goddamn bear," Cassidy said, smacking Bob's hand away from her buxom hind quarters. She then flipped off the studio audience, "Choke on it!" and left.

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