When I started hitting up. My life changed

When I started hitting up. My life changed completely. Maybe for the better. Definitely for the worse. I couldn't stop. I still can't stop. And now my girlfriend's involved...

She knew that now was the time she had to barge in there & confront him about his unquenchable drug abuse. Didn't matter he was the store owner. He was high all the time and stank.

She first confronted him logically. "No one wants to shop here, because you're always high and smell horrible." He was too focused on his Cheetoes to notice she was even talking.

Mmm, cheesy goodness. "and for the record, I'm not high all the time, I mean, I sleep sometimes, too." She fired him in about a nanosecond after that. He picked up his hackysack &

overstuffed pretzel and decided he would get even by seeking out some hot Asian ass in Tiny Chinatown (yes, built for Asian midgets). One he got there he was surprised

ssed by soy sauce? "Oolang, " he stated, then immediately regretted his error. Do Asians drink coffee? He decided to call 1.800.ASIAN ASS to find out. The call screener picked

his call to record for training and quality control purposes. "Do Asians drink coffee?" "All races and credit cards are accepted." As he hung up he had a lot to ponder.

He took a sip of hibiscus-wartroot-alfalfa-sprout-dandylion-honey-anti-3-day-bender-just-before-you-marry tea. Ling grew up it in Hawaii, but his irrational fears about his future

prevented him from turning a profit. Which, of course, spelled doom for his marriage. She was only in it for the money.