"Get back in the gorilla suit," I directed.

  • "Get back in the gorilla suit," I directed. I could already smell the Oscar. "Action!" Gorilla: My darling, at long last, I've returned. But I have strict orders to eliminate

  • any record of our relationship from your notes. The other gorillas are worried you'll publish our sign language & then humans will know what's up." My remake of Gorillas in the Mis

  • erables was burning thru cash like Mickey Rourke thru plastic surgeries.It seemed like a good idea at the time: African gorilla living in Paris sewer steals banana and candlesticks

  • lives as "companion" with Colonel Mustard. The African Gorilla got tired of Mustard's jacuzzi parties and bathtub gin. So when Professor Plumb came over the Gorilla went

  • apeshit and started through barrels of bananas and all the other gorilla cliches. Except Col. Mustard didn't keep any bananas. Only Gray Poupon. Which is why Prof. Plum visited.

  • By process of elimination, Prof. Plum decided that the only possible person who could have done this is either Mr. Monopoly or a Green Apple card, labeled Guilty. Of course,

  • Prof Plum would need to examine the case again using both deductive and inductive reasoning. Over the years Prof Plum's investigative skills had become more sophisticated

  • than a cow, at least. He started with seductive reasoning but found out harshly he was not the man for it. He then went to reductive reasoning but got less results. Tears

  • started rolling down his face. Then it hit him. Tearductive reasoning! If he shed 1 tear, he'd get four of them. That meant that if he cried a hundred tears, he'd get 400 cattle.

  • Unfortunately, 400 cattle was not a good thing. With all the hoo-hah over global warming, he would have to pay someone to take them.



  1. SlimWhitman Feb 17 2013 @ 06:53

    I was imagining a sort of interspecies Romeo & Juliet.

  2. Zetawilk Feb 17 2013 @ 13:02

    It reminded me of The Far Side for a moment there. I liked the idea of Jean Valjean getting upstaged by Milton Bradley.

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