one day i decided to go to a park and i met

one day i decided to go to a park and i met a talking dog who told me that burger king is giving away free burgers to any body with a talking dog. so me and the talking dog went

The dog stood up on two legs and punched me in the face repeatedly.

He was part dingo part kangaroo -an Outback mutant from the Nullabor Plain.I tried to duck & weave but his canine footwork was too fancy.The transvestites jeered.I was on the ropes

. It was at that point I had it wit' Dingo-Kanga Queen o'the Dessert Kickboxing. I took my tucker bag and went on walk-about in the outback. I should have brought a canteen because

the Kangacops were packing heat in their pouches. "I had no idea they'd be so offended by fixed kickboxing matches," I thought, picking up my pace. I came across an indigenous

foreigner who called himself a Jack Rabbit. He said the only way to dodge the Kangacops was to "become one of them." To transform myself into them I needed a Kangol hat and a fanny

with a pouch. The Kangol hat was no problem, but a fanny with a pouch would take serious cash. I took out a 401K loan and made an appt. with Joan Rivers' plastic surgeon because

looking good is way more important than having a nest egg baby! Having a built in pouch would set my fanny apart from the best fannys. Jennifer Lopez would nearly die from envy.

Unfortunately after I became a kangaroo (my joey was SO CUTE), I had to star in a movie with Jennifer Lopez, so my plan all like kinda backfired. SIIIIGH! I'm too dreamy for this!