one day i decided to go to a park and i met

one day i decided to go to a park and i met a talking dog who told me that burger king is giving away free burgers to any body with a talking dog. so me and the talking dog went

to the burger king, but my talking dog wouldn't talk! I pleaded and pleaded but he wouldn't say a word. I went home and asked him "why didn't you say anything?!" He saw my anger.

The dog stood up on two legs and punched me in the face repeatedly.

He was part dingo part kangaroo -an Outback mutant from the Nullabor Plain.I tried to duck & weave but his canine footwork was too fancy.The transvestites jeered.I was on the ropes

. It was at that point I had it wit' Dingo-Kanga Queen o'the Dessert Kickboxing. I took my tucker bag and went on walk-about in the outback. I should have brought a canteen because

the Kangacops were packing heat in their pouches. "I had no idea they'd be so offended by fixed kickboxing matches," I thought, picking up my pace. I came across an indigenous

foreigner who called himself a Jack Rabbit. He said the only way to dodge the Kangacops was to "become one of them." To transform myself into them I needed a Kangol hat and a fanny

with a pouch. The Kangol hat was no problem, but a fanny with a pouch would take serious cash. I took out a 401K loan and made an appt. with Joan Rivers' plastic surgeon because

Unfortunately after I became a kangaroo (my joey was SO CUTE), I had to star in a movie with Jennifer Lopez, so my plan all like kinda backfired. SIIIIGH! I'm too dreamy for this!