I divided my wife's parts into different

I divided my wife's parts into different bio-stasis tanks. Eyes in one. Brain in another. Legs in another. She gets so mad when I stroke her breasts as the bob in the fluid and don

't whisper sweet nothings in her ears which are pickled in a jar. I heard the rattle of the printer wired up to her brain waves. 'Leave my tits alone & go & feed the dog' it read

. My wife. Always bossing me around. I picked up the jar containing her head. I'd feed the dog alright. "Here Buster! Come on, boy! Food?" My wife's eyes widened as I set the jar

In front of Buster. He shoved his nose in the mouth of the jar, & got stuck. Then he looked at me, my wife's eyes floating in the briny solution looked at him & I started to laugh

. Why did odd things like this always happen to me? My wife's pickled eyes amused me for some reason. Buster was less than amused, however, & gestured for me to pull his face out

& two enormous testicles, the biggest I'd ever seen, sprung over his shoulders & wrapped around his neck. "Buster! Help! It's testicular strangulation! And not the good kind!"

The Pokemon Go players spotted a rare Pokemon there and let the eggs hatch. They were ready to sprout wings and display their prowess. A DNA Info reporter saw one overhead and was

quickly snatched up and eaten in midair by the pterodactyl wearing a Pokemon disguise. Behind him, if he had had time to look was the dinosaur army disguised as Pokemon.

They were all cute, bright eyed and bushy tailed, but he never saw this as his face crunched in the pterodactyl's mighty jaws. Perhaps it was better that way.