Maybe she should have went to bed a 9:00

Maybe she should have went to bed a 9:00 just like her mom's careful instructions had laid out. But no, she was a rebellious teenager and would stay up until 9:02 instead. This was

For instance, she would put glue on their chairs and salt in the sugar shakers. Sure, her trickery was lame, but she grew up sheltered. It's not like she knew any better. After all

of her basic pranks were used up she was forced to escalate. She had to feed the prank monkey, hungry in her belly. So she gathered up a half-ton of porcupine excrement and some

Sand, but the monkey, being twice as big as her, lashed it at her. It was angry and it was time to eat.

the money began to throw poop at all the spectators. Laughing as he was picking up each turd.

That's how this place became known as "Laughing Turd Lake."

Mr. Needlepoop was skeptical. The lake didn't look like a woolley mammoth turd to him even if erosion from Pissing Giant Sloth Falls may have changed it's shape over the millennia

. To make sense of all of this, I consulted the Hitchhiker's Guide to Galactic Bathrooms, Douglas Adams' lesser-known publication, which clearly stated that I should

brain myself repeatedly for not possessing inherent knowledge of which way toilet paper rolls should face. It then concluded with a suicidal rant based on humanity not knowing.