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I feel like I am going to sneeze, and the

  • I feel like I am going to sneeze, and the sneeze is coming and sweet relief is about to take place…and then…nothing happens!

    6
  • Cookie monster then walked up and started eating all the Reece Cups. Darn him and his eating ways.

    3
  • No wonder the Halloween candy was all gone, and here he was blaming all of the other kids in the neighborhood. Now we knew, HE was the one shoving all the sweets in his pie hole.

    4
  • He emitted a Splenda aura that gave me cavities whenever I stood near him. His last good tooth fell out as he said, "Pass me my insulin." Aha, I had stolen his insulin for revenge!

    6
  • I buried it under a palm tree on one of the smaller Islets of Langerhans. But the nearly toothless and diabetic pirate's parrot had seen where I'd marked the spot. His dental hook

    6
  • had been giving him some problems. He needed to get in touch with Wilford Brimley again to talk about the diabetes it was getting in the way of all the pillaging that needed to be

    3
  • accomplished. He looked down at his Honey Do list: Pillage, Plunder, Riot, Pick up dry cleaning, Loot, Contact Wilford Brimley, Contribute to group stories, Rend asunder. Hagar

    6
  • ripped up the honey do list (whatever that is) and threw the pieces through the car window. Yeah, he'd contact Wilford Brimley, he'd contact him with his fist. Hagar put his foot

    3
  • through the oatmeal. This steamed Wilford Brimley's clams. But, this is why Hagar is known as "The Horrible." But Wilford had another ace up his old-timey sleeve, you see in

    6
  • Medieval Scandinavia Wilford was good friends with Mr Giggles. Mr Giggles was happy to help revenge Wilford's clams by stringing up Hagar in his Dungeon and tickling him.

    5

4 Comments

  1. mensaque Mar 10 2013 @ 13:02

    So cute!

  2. lucielucie Mar 12 2013 @ 07:53

    I googled a Honey Do List. It's s list of tasks that one person (usually a woman) asks another person (usually a man) to do in return for sexual favours.

  3. 49erFaithful Mar 12 2013 @ 14:27

    Lol, in my house it's not quite that explicit of an agreement but I suppose that it kind of boils down to that... Though the rest of the story is a pretty accurate depiction of an average Tuesday.

  4. lucielucie Mar 12 2013 @ 15:17

    It sounds good in theory. But what happens if the back bedroom still isn't decorated and now your husband is sleeping with your sister? Problem doubled.

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