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When he graduated with his PhD from Stanford

  • When he graduated with his PhD from Stanford two years ago, he was set to join a team cataloguing endangered species and creating a DNA bank of plants, animals and

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  • bacteria in the swamps of Louisiana. Alex's intent was to put in enough work to satisfy his corporate sponsors while doing as much work on mutagens and reverse aging polymerase

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  • or some such crap. He couldn't remember what his station boss at the CIA told him was his cover. Details shmetails. He just wanted to kill someone and have a mountain dew because

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  • Mountain Dew always tastes better after murder. Dammit! The 7-11 only stocked Cactus Cooler. He glared at the clerk and fumbled in his pocket before retrieving

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  • his roll of Certs, pointing it through his jacket at the 7-11 clerk. "Hey, bro, restock the Mountain Dew now or I'll kill you with the roll of Certs in my pocket!!!" Then,

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  • suddenly in road the Marlboro man swinging a machete! "Hey, bro, is that a roll of certs you are threatening this man with? How dare you bother this kind hearted 7-11 clerk. In

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  • your defense though, the clerk was kind of a dick to me the last time I was here so on second thought continue with your threats. I'll just hang out over here with the Pork Rinds."

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  • So continue I did. Threat after threat after threat. But the clerk, shamefully hidden behind the bullet-proof glass just started at me. I decided it would be better if we just went

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  • shopping at the JCPenny next door instead. I had heard rumors that the clerks there caved to belligerent bartering much more easily. All I wanted was

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  • to be serviced by a very docile clerk who can take an unrelenting torrent of verbal assault with a smile on their face and asking for more. Why is good help so hard to find?

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