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Hello? Anybody out there?

  • Hello? Anybody out there?

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  • No... nobody here. We are just...umm... A RECORDING! ...yes, please leave your name after the beep... umm... BEEP! now go away, please?

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  • My in-laws didn't buy it, though, and showed up on Christmas Eve anyway, just as I'd donned my red velvet Victoria's Secret bustier and fishnets. I wanted to surprise my husband,

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  • because he was rich and had a weak heart. I jumped out in my Victoria's Secret outfit and said, "TADA!" But my husband was so old he was deaf. He didn't even notice me, he was

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  • busy cleaning his dentures while watching Jeopardy with the volume all the way up. I sauntered in playfully in my lace underwear when his narcolepsy kicked in. Oh no! Was he asleep

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  • or just playing dead? It was a tactic of my geriatric husband. He called it "Papa Opposum". Convinced he'd stopped breathing, I applied mouth-to-mouth but with no dentures

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  • his lips were more kissable than ever. I couldn't help but give him the most sensual kiss I'd ever given. To be honest it was probably better than when we were honeymooners

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  •       and since the invention of the kiss, there have only been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. After, he looked

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  • like most men look after the best kiss in the world. This was no kiss, don't underestimate it! This was Nirvana, nay, this was Nirvana on acid, nay! this was Big Bang, the primordi

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  • al sharing of viscous saliva and post nasal drip...well, actually, it wasn't all that good. Yeah, really oversold it there. Meh. It was okay. Better than his elbow, maybe.

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2 Comments

  1. sundancer Dec 13 2012 @ 20:46

    LOL this was hilarious!!! And it pretty much stayed consistent throughout. You guys are getting better at this! :-)

  2. SlimWhitman Dec 15 2012 @ 17:56

    I'm just in love with the phrase "Papa Opposum". Papa Opposum Papa Opposum Papa Opposum Ok, got it out of my system. Great comedic highs. The story had me LOLing. Thanks for the fun.

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