"Told her lightsaber's upside down, ain't

"Told her lightsaber's upside down, ain't my fault the idiot burned her face off...." Darth Anthony murmured as the recruit writhed on the ground. First day at Camp Darkside wasn't

going nearly as well as Darth Anthony had hoped. "This isn't playtime!", he barked at the recruits as the screaming kid was rushed off to the burn clinic , "Evil is serious busines

s." The blare of trumpets heralded the arrival of Darthette Cleopatra. "I love how hateful u are," she praised Darth Anthony, eyeing his recruits broken in as flamethrower shields.

Darth Antony's helmet turned to view his dark Queen, in her jetblack onyx-studded catsuit. He rasped more audibly than usual,pleasing Darthette Cleopatra. "What of Luke Octavius?"

"He's trying his cool hand at Canto Bight's poker tables. We have all night, sweet Darthy." Darthette Cleopatra caressed the Falkor pelt she lay upon and bid Darth Antony to

find himself a frosty glass of mint beer. Darth Anony soon found himself underneath the Christmas bush, drunk out of his mind, making out with a pillow.

The next day Darth Anony woke with a clanging head. His cushioning pillow had disappeared. A note was magnetted to the fridge. DEAR DARTH, I MAY BE JUST SIMPLE BEDDING TO YOU BUT

in fear." He felt the pillowy mounds of animosity enveloping his dreams and derriere. And this all originated from a simple good-natured throwdown with a Princess Leia body pillow.

Suddenly there was a yank on the chain attached to ring around her throat and the pillow and I were pulled across the room to the feet of Jabba the Hut. "Look, Leia brought a toy."